Recently updated on: February 26, 2024
As we grow older, we will lose friends along the way, whether deliberately or by chance. It's just part of our adult life.
According to studies, the number of social contacts will eventually peak and start dwindling by the age of 25, only to have a re-emergence later in life.
Through the years, I also lost some friends, some of whom became a huge part of my youth. Unfortunately, that's life, and how it changes will also become part of our future.
In this post, I'll share my thoughts on how and why we lose friends when we're older.
Table of Contents
- 1. We Lose Friends When Our Goals Change.
- 2. We Lose Friends When Our Priorities Change.
- 3. We Lose Friends When Our Humors Change.
- 4. We Lose Friends When We Avoid Bad and Toxic Friendships.
- 5. We Lose Friends When We Want to Nourish Better Friendships.
- Final Thought
1. We Lose Friends When Our Goals Change.
When your goals change, you will notice that your circle of friends will also change in favor of those who bring you closer to your current goal.
For instance, if you're interested in building a business, it would make sense to be more connected to people who are also in business and can help you, or you can help.
Though you would like to remain close friends with your high school or college buddies, unfortunately, that will not always be the case because you will soon foster people aligned with your goals.
Remember the Dunbar's Number? I wrote it on a post about Social Minimalism.
2. We Lose Friends When Our Priorities Change.
As we grow older, our priorities change, and we will have to adapt to it. We can't hold on to the things we used to do and the people we used to be with constantly.
Think about your parents. Are they still constantly hanging out with their high school, college, or even work buddies every single day? Chances are, they are not - or unless they don't know their priorities.
So, when our priorities change, we will see some friends take a step down from our friendship hierarchy.
Sure, familiar people can still be fun to be around while reminiscing about the past or planning a little about the future. Unfortunately, it will not always be the case if your priorities are no longer aligned.
3. We Lose Friends When Our Humors Change.
Humor is one of the things that brings people together. It is also one of the things that you will notice amongst friends - they laugh at the same jokes.
I noticed that as I grew older, my humor changed (though there was a time when I lost my smile completely). I also noticed that some of my friend's humor changed while some remained static.
Eventually, I found myself no longer laughing at the same things we used to find funny, and we ultimately built a gap between ourselves.
I'm not sure if it's because of the humor that changed and dwindled the fire of our friendships or if our levels of maturity evolved and changed some parts of us, including our sense of humor.
4. We Lose Friends When We Avoid Bad and Toxic Friendships.
As I grew older, I started finding ways to build a more relaxed lifestyle, away from all the drama and toxic friendships.
Sometimes, we'll hear old friends tell us we've changed. But the truth is that while we did change, we did it for the better.
Unfortunately, the people who will tell you that you've changed are those who never developed a growth mindset and remained fixed on their toxic habits, which you wouldn't want to nourish.
Remember that we are the average of the people we spend the most time with. If we aren't selective and develop a sense of social minimalism about who we want to be with, we will be absorbed in a backward and fixed mindset.
5. We Lose Friends When We Want to Nourish Better Friendships.
The truth is that we will start losing friends in our 20s because we want to discover who we want to be and build healthier habits.
We also begin to have limited time because of the many priorities that life brings us, resulting in fewer opportunities to be with our friends.
For instance, when we decide to nourish better friendships to help us become better entrepreneurs, professionals, husbands/wives, or better people in general, we will spend more time with them. We will also want to find mentors who will guide us as we cruise through life.
Final Thought
Losing friends is a normal part of our adult life, and it will only continue to do so until we're left with the people whom we love to maintain contact with.
In the age of social media, when we're always connected to people we don't know, it's still best to be with those who will bring the best out of us.
There should also be no regret when some of our friendships die a natural death because, at one point in our lives, they helped build a part of us.
Sadly, the end of some friendships will eventually come as we turn to the next chapter of our book called Life.
Which friendships do you want to nourish and grow?