Last Updated on February 27, 2022
This is the follow-up entry to my blog post entitled Pondering About Love, Relationships, and Singleness which I wrote last year out of frustration to the people who keep on badgering me about why I am still single or when will I get married.
But sometimes, life is ironic.
I wrote something to answer the question regarding my choice to be single, only for that post to be deemed unnecessary just a few months later.
It’s funny how a year can change our lives for the better (hopefully, not for the worse).
When I wrote the post about love, relationship, and singleness, I would never have thought about being in a loving relationship a year later.
Maybe that is the beauty of writing a blog, I have a log of what I was thinking at a particular time, and I hope that some of you will find the joy in writing, too.
Here it goes, my realizations and changes in perspective about love, relationship, and singleness.
1. If it’s God’s will, it will happen.
If ever I finally found “the one,” I am willing to take the leap of faith and dive headfirst into a long and winding journey with someone that’s been planned by God from the start.Pondering About Love, Relationship, and Singleness
Like I wrote last year, I believe that singleness or being in the right relationship can only be successful with God’s guidance.
We need to acknowledge that it is all from God’s plans that everything, both good or bad, that happens in our lives is just stepping stones toward something beautiful.
A romantic relationship is a love triangle between the man, the woman, and God. So as long as we both draw near to God, He will surely draw us closer to each other.
For singles, waiting can be tiring, but if you persevere long enough, the person God intended for you may just be around the corner. It also wouldn’t hurt to include your ideal future partner in your prayers.
2. My life is still in equilibrium.
I love teaching, and I also love reading and writing. I have time to exercise and maintain a fitness level, lead a small group, trade stocks, study for a master’s degree, socialize with my family and friends, and even go on occasional travels.Pondering About Love, Relationship, and Singleness
I thought my current definition of work-life balance would fall into chaos as another pin is tossed in the juggling cascade of my life, but I guess I was wrong.
Life will always be a balancing act. We remove things and activities to give way to new and better things. Simply, we make time for what is important for us.
I am still focused on teaching, reading, and writing. I still have time to exercise, though not as intense as before. I still lead a small group of young people in our church. I’m still trading in the stock market, still managing to work for my master’s degree, still able to socialize with my family and friends, and even go on occasional travels.
We need to maximize our limited time – which means that we need to limit the time spent on some of our unproductive habits.
3. Love develops best when it happens organically.
I guess you can say that I am old-fashioned, but I still believe in organically building a relationship.Pondering About Love, Relationship, and Singleness
I believe in organically developing relationships, no forced moments. And if the timing is just right, then a relationship may develop into something more — maybe even love.
I met my girlfriend several years ago when I was still in Manila. During that time, she was still in a relationship while I was having a crush on a workmate. If someone had told me that we would be together in seven years, I’m sure that I would’ve laughed. That is the beauty of hindsight; everything is 20/20.
Fast-forward to 2021. We reconnected through a game of Table Tennis – the loser had to pay for dinner (the score was 20-0, in my favor). Soon, the games became ‘dates’ (we never really called it that), long walks, jogging, cycling, waterfall hunting, and before we knew it, we were falling in love.
4. Deeply held values are non-negotiable.
Which values or preferences would you be willing to compromise and which are not.Pondering About Love, Relationship, and Singleness
As we grow older and wiser, we develop and maintain our values. Some can be compromised, while some are non-negotiable, and it is the non-negotiables that should be carefully matched with our partners for compatibility.
So it’s a good thing that before we even get deeper into our relationship, we already discussed the values that we hold dear.
In our case, we talked about this topic early, and it so happened that the values we both claim to be most valuable are almost identical. At that point, I knew she was the one.
5. Money matters should be discussed immediately.
In connection, single couples need to talk about their financial status, including assets, liabilities, family responsibilities, and money habits, because many marital issues stem from it.Pondering About Love, Relationship, and Singleness
If you’re a regular reader of this blog or a follower of my pages, then you’ll know that I write many things about personal finance.
I learned from my observations and some experiences that while money is neutral and amoral, how we use it and behave when we have it or not speaks greatly about our character.
Money is a magnifier of our character. If you put your money into good use, more money will be beneficial for many, but if you don’t know how to manage your money, no matter how much you have, you will always feel lacking.
So it was a great joy for me when I heard how she handles money, her views on tithing and responsibilities, and more. I told her that I am like reading my own mind from what she is saying about money.
We even had sessions of stock market analysis tutorials, which is how we got to know each other better.
6. Aiming for a mature relationship
The number of years is not the only basis of a mature relationship. It is from the maturity of two individuals who chose to be together. While we may have the same foundations, principles, and values, we still have many things to learn from each other’s differences because no two people are exactly alike.
Similar to how a person can develop individually, it is essential to let go of the past, enjoy the present, and hope for the future. Like how our body needs nourishments, our relationships also need nourishing.
Love goes beyond just a feeling. It is a choice and action to love our partner, even in their unlovable times – like how God loved us even before we can reciprocate (1 John 4:19).
7. Still no pressure, but it opened a whole new opportunity.
So, yes, I did finally find “the one,” and now I know that she is the reason why I’ve held on to my singleness for a long time. God’s time is indeed the perfect time.
I took the leap and dove headfirst, but with God as our protector and redeemer, I know our relationship is in safe hands.
There are still many things that will happen, but with God in the driver’s seat of our relationship, I am not afraid. Actually, I’m excited.
To more seasons to come. Happy Heart’s Day.
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